Sun, 05 Oct 2014 01:16:39 +0000
This is Day 25 of my month-long quest to write a post every day. Of course, it's not actually Day 25, but rather Day 28 with three missed days.
When I first started this project, I looked forward to every day of writing. Throughout my day, I thought about what I could write about. I thought about turns of phrases, about humorous anecdotes and clarifying metaphors. It's the kind of thing people do when they really care about something. They think about it throughout the day; they plan; they get excited. But about 20 days in, I stopped looking forward to it.
I think part of it is that I don't know where this is going. The purpose is rather vague. If anything, the purpose is to give me a purpose. That became painfully clear when I started other little projects that pushed this one of the top of the totem poll.
But the other part that's drains the excitement from this project is that I'm doing it alone. I've often searched for writing communities online or in person, but I feel like I don't have the energy for that. I feel like, if anything, I want to do it with my friends. I started this thing called the Rec Writers Club a few years ago, and tons of people were excited to join. Our careers were just getting started, and we didn't get too much satisfaction from our work. We were working our way up the food chain. But now, many of those people are successful journalists and artists and writers and lawyers. And I imagine they get their fill of satisfaction when they come home. Because the last time I asked my friends if they wanted to start this back up, they said no.
A lot of my writing ends with a realization — something to strive for or a culminating message. But this one is merely about my inability to conjure up the energy to do this every day. Because of that, I'm often writing from the same place, with the same emotions. I suppose the pace of this is a bit off, because the issues I'm working through don't change quick enough for me to write from a different perspective every day. So I find this to be boring sometimes.
I'm going to try to get back to my book once these 30 days are over. The book excites me, but it takes a lot of time and energy — the kind of time and energy that require my day job to be less draining. So I'm going to have to figure out how that balances out.